Anger

I would consider myself a thoughtful person. That shouldn’t seem too outrageous a thing to say; by writing a blog and expecting some people to read it I’m pretty much saying the same thing. I’m a splatter painter of ideas. My head is a mess and, while that’s pretty fun, when it comes to people it can be dangerous.

I have recently hurt a very good friend of mine by splattering some nasty thoughts and judging her too quickly. I’m really mad at myself about it too. It’s crucial to not be too critical. I KNEW that but I let my insecurities and bipolarity get in the way. Now I fear I have broken our trust. It's likely that she will not be comfortable to communicate with me in the future and for that I feel very guilty and sad.

Almost always we project our own insecurities onto other people. If you’re really mad at someone, first try to calm down. Get some exercise or listen to some calming music, eat a big bowl of tomato soup -what ever you do to calm down- then, when you’re cool as can be, look at YOURSELF really closely. Most times your anger will have more to do with your own problems than with the other person’s.

This is not exactly news and I don't think Im in a position to give advice to anyone on the matter; you all know yourselves better than I do. I just want to give a heads up. A warning. Anger is so powerful. It is an emotional AND physical state. when you are angry you're physically not in your normal state of mind, just like a drug. You feel that burning in your stomach and it’s easy to get worked up, let your thoughts splatter and say things you don’t mean. DON"T DO THAT!!! It’s absolutely tragic. You can lose some good friends because of it and that’s one of the saddest things I can think of.